i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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