i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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