Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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