I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize