His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize