oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
