It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
