Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
they're like a gay fantastic four
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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