Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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