he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
