I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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