he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
50% drunk capacity currently
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
