my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
