We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
