So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
