All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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