i just wanna soil my oats bro
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
