have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
