Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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