just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize