don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
