you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I just had sex on a roof
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
