i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
