I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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