Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
