This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She even gives head with a lisp.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
