ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
