i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
