Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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