I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
