On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
