He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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