Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
