You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
