Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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