she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
My vagina is officially offended.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize