just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
