I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
