So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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