I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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