I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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