new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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