You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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