Sry I called you an 8
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
