i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
