I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
