opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
