Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
