Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
