I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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