Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
