I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
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