We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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