Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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