Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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