so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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