I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
