Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
do herpes really smell.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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