Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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