I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
